Being in a relationship is rather a complex thing even when lovers are one hundred percent in love. In the pink idealistic world your partner should totally be into you, for instance he will not mind any of your faults like your high pitched voice, loud laugh or any other habit that it is typical for you.
This applies vice versa, you should also not mind any of his or hers faults. However, this is not possible as each one of us has its own faults and because of that we need to be open about them and embrace as they really are.
So, it is a good thing if your partner honestly and gently tells you what he minds about you. The question remains are you willing to change for him or her.
Have in mind that there is a huge difference if this is said in good faith and if it is said with a nasty remark, especially every day. If your partner constantly belittles you, then this will destroy you personally, and eventually will lead to the breakup of the relationship.
When does my partner have good intentions?
He supports and motivates you
The partner with whom you are spending most of the time should support you and be your number one fan. For instance, if he wants you to exercise more, then he should go to the gym and workout with you.
He respects your opinions
No one has the right to ridicule any other person, especially not the person with whom you are in a relationship with. The right partner should have confidence in you and help you with all your difficulties. By any means he should not belittle you making you feel that you are a bad person not deserving a shred of love and appreciation.
He still considers the right moment to express his feelings
This means that he has good intentions and still cares about your feelings. Moreover, if he is patient, and expressing his opinions in sincere and calm manner, then he is still into you with good intentions. But, if he intentionally ridicules you in public and tells you all the time what to do or not, then he is not into you anymore and you should end this unhealthy relationship.
He does not put the blame on you for his mistakes
If his is the case, then he is the right partner for you. It is important for your partner to distinguish the difference between his and your problems. He should not order around as you are not obliged to listen to him.
He is pointing your best qualities
It is a good thing when your partner tells you what he likes about you and when even attributes to improving these traits of your personality. On the other hand, if he constantly tells you what are you doing badly, then this is not good as none of us is perfect, we all have faults and we should not emphasize them. At this point you should have an honest conversation about the changes that each of you can make.
What to do if your partner asks you to change?
Provided that this is asked from you in a gentle and respectful way, then you should consider well what you are willing to change to keep this relationship. Here it is how to act when a question like this pops up:
First of all, do not make any offenses or rash decisions; just follow these three golden rules:
- Breathe deeply – even though it is a painful issue for you, do not react harshly but first breathe deeply especially if this is an honest request. Think it over, and then decide what to do whether the change will improve your relationship or not.
- Do not respond if you are angry or frustrated
If you are experiencing anger and frustration do not give an answer immediately. Acknowledge his expectations from you and the changes he wishes for you to make. However, you should also ask something from him in return, but make sure not to promise something that you cannot fulfill.
- If you find it necessary ask for an advice from a professional
There have been cases when an outside help or therapy have been extremely successful in improving the relationship of two persons. If you think that a professional can elevate your relationship to a higher level, do not hesitate to ask for help.
Always have in mind to follow your own decisions and actions as that is the right thing to do. If you respect yourself, others will as well and then only good things can happen to you. Have your own opinion and do not let anyone to make you doing something that you do not want.